400 word auto biography

I was furious at my mom. She forbid me from playing alpha bonk farm, my favorite Macintosh game, all for jumping off the couch. To spite her I jumped off the couch again landing my head into an umbrella. I had never seen my dad drive so fast. No damage was done, yet I had a lump the size of a golf ball on my head. I fell on my head two more times that year and had been to the emergency room three times before my fifth birthday.

I had determined that I was a hypochondriac. Still living in my house on Oakwood, my stomach twisted and turned as I sat watching TV. The pain was unbearable, and after doing five minutes of research my dad had determined that it was most likely appendicitis. The hospital was a ten minute drive, we arrived in four. As I sat in agony on the hospital bed my pain suddenly eased away. They determined it was a combination of strep throat and gas, how embarrassing.

I was now in fifth grade and living in St Charles, I was miserable. I was diagnosed with insomnia, getting a little over16 hours of sleep a week. I would lie in bed watching terrible paid programming television. After moving back to Wilmette my insomnia grew increasing worse. It five long years and 50 sessions of therapy, I’m still not fully healed.

Skateboarding, my one true passion, came to a sad end as I was told that the cartilage, connecting the ball and joint socket of my knee, had deteriorated due to the hard impact on my knees from skateboarding. I had the choice of stopping skateboarding or not being able to walk by the time I was thirty, I chose the first option, I still regret my decision.

Never having broke a bone in my life I wound up breaking three bones the summer going into my senior year. I broke two bones in my thumb in a bike accident, and I broke my cheek bone in another, bloodier bike accident.

Being the genius that I am, I challenged my 200 pound friend to a fight two weeks ago. I caught an elbow to mouth and a punch to the jaw. Every time I open jaw it cracks a little. Just another story, just another scar. If I was supposed to learn something from these incidents I guess I’m in trouble.